"Dollhouse"

In about two weeks, my family and I will going back to our old house. Old but newly renovated.

From our last visit, I took a few photos. Not really good shots but here they are.

This will be my room:



My phone cam wasn't able to give justice to the beauty and space of my soon-to-be room. (Limited capacity shot of the phone cam) Take note that there's more space at the right side. Boxes at the middle are tiles for the other rooms.

The color of the walls are dark and light violet. Originally, I begged my mother to paint it with seven colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. In short, I wanted rainbow walls. Yes, seriously. Multicolored room. Awesome, right? My mother thought I was nuts. While I thought "ROYGBIV" walled room was a genius. After a few weeks, I gave in to my mother. I don't have the money yet to pay for the painting job, so I only got to choose one color (as included in the house renovation package). I chose a royalty color which is violet.

Someday in the future, I'll have that rainbow colored walls I want. :D



That's my soon-to-be cabinet. (Hmm. I could probably paint that in rainbow colors. :D lol. Don't tell my mother about that, she might go ballistic. :))

I got fascinated with the following pieces of wood seen in the photo:

They were all evenly and smoothly cut. Reminded me of the basic shapes we were asked to sketch in drawing class back in college. (A sphere wood would complete the photo. :D)


A gate leading to the Lanai of the house.


The house den is just beside the kitchen:
Please excuse the mess. Still in process of renovating the house.

Can't wait to see the house completely done.

Feels like I'm going to live in a dollhouse.

Moving Forward

Next month, when my family and I return to our old house (which was renovated) I will be bringing with me only one suitcase containing my personal belongings.

It might sound nothing out of the ordinary but if you knew how much stuff I have from my desk to my closet (besides clothes that is), you'll probably wonder how I'll manage to squeeze everything in one suitcase.

I've decided to throw and donate 90% of my stuff. "Stuff" that is ranging from clothes, books to memorabilia. I actually threw all my memorabilia without hesitation. I'm sure if my friends will know about it, there will be a chorus of "WHY?!" thrown upon me.

My answer will only be, "I don't want to carry them anymore with me."

Back then, when I clean my things, I always hesitate throwing old possessions because sentimentality always gets me. Today, as I part with my old stuff, I see sentimentality as a mere word in the dictionary.

Anyway, as I was in the middle of cleaning and segregating stuff in my closet, I found a paper with an essay printed in it. An essay written by Paulo Coelho. I remember seeing the said essay in his blog about 2 years ago. I was nursing an heartache that time. The essay was well written but I was so heartbroken that time I had a hard time listening to what it was trying to tell me.

Today, when I re-read the essay I finally heard what it was sincerely saying.

And what a coincidence. I'm doing exactly the 4th paragraph.

Closing Cycles
Paulo Coelho (Warrior of Light)

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister, everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home. Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood. Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.” Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

Finally, I've ligthen my load. :)

The Creation of the "YOUniverse"

Yesterday it was a bag. Now the message that the universe wants to remind us came from a small pillow.


One day, somewhere in the mess of our storage room in our house, I found that pillow. All I was able to utter when I picked it up was, "Oo, nga noh."

From then on, whenever I wake up in the morning that pillow is the first thing I see. Reminds me always that I control my world and I can't pinpoint anyone if I made a mess out of me.

So, the pillow has spoken. We must now watch our thoughts if we want the finer things in life.



P.S.
Pooh and Tigger stuff toy are not part of the pillow. They are my cute little bed guardians.

P.P.S
Yes, I still keep stuff toys around me. They are mostly gifts from friends.
I have an 'army' of guardians in my bed. Pooh and Tigger are the latest recruits in the 'army'.

Mental Power

and the bag has spoken.


An age-old wisdom that every human being should know.

Flowers

...again.

Walking around our village here's another pretty flower I saw along the way. What fascinated me was its arrangement.

Suprising, for a pretty flower it doesn't have a smell.

Serenity admist chaos

I have known this prayer since my elementary days:

"God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen."

With my Catholic upbringing from the schools I've went from elementary to college, how can I not know this prayer? Memorized even to the point I can blurt it out while sleeping.

But even if I knew this prayer my whole life, I only fully understood the meaning of this a week ago. When I felt my world was falling apart. When I felt I was dying alive. This prayer saved me. It is also what's keeping me alive right now. Each word in the prayer was like an oxygen being pumped up in my struggling lungs.

I'm offering this prayer to God, from now on, in every single waking day of my life.

The little beauty

What a beauty!

It smells like lemon. Powdery lemon.

I was brisk walking around our village when I found this beautiful fallen flower. It was the smallest of the group near the tree it fell from. I sniffed (like an addict high from drugs) it's scent for about an hour. Yes, almost an hour. It smells heavenly. :)

Chair love

I'm easy to please. Really.

So imagine how happy I was when I found out that my computer work station chair was this:

I think I'm inlove with it already, actually. Okay, not really inlove. Lol. Just giddy of happiness that I get to spend most of my day in it. That I'm sure my back (and butt) will always be well rested as I work through the day.

It's the most comfortable chair I've ever sat on for a long time. Thank you Lord for this simple blessing. Might just be a chair but it means a lot to me. :)

New Friend

I was moved in to a new work station last week. My much needed move to a quieter and more productive place.

I wasn't in a happy mood at the day of my move. I was quiet the whole time while moving my stuff. When I was settled, I found this in my desk:

It was left by the previous occupant of the work station. I was about to throw it when I realized it's a 'jelly wrist rest' support for a keyboard. It was still in good condition. I've been planning to buy one for a month already because I've been feeling wrist aches every now and then fearing it might lead to carpal tunnel.

I didn't know what possessed me that moment but as soon as I found out it was still in condition, I started cleaning it slowly and rested my wrist on it afterwards. It felt good and relaxing. It's as if it sucked all my worries and blues out of me.

Funny it may sound, but I think I found a new friend. I'm glad that whenever I arrive at work, I got someone, I mean something to rest my wrist on.. and probably help me take away my blues whenever it visits me.

Ten Things I love with Strangers

.. I walk with in the morning when I'm on my way to work.

10. The counterflow
- People going that way will be at the right side, people going this way pile up on the left. I like looking at the exchange of movements.

9. Listening to their music players
- Most especially when they are feeling the music and pretending that the road is their dance floor. Makes me want to dance with them as well.

8 - 7. Walking while listening to their music player and staring at an abyss
- Some even do this while looking up in the sky. That, people, is a skill. A skill not to fall in a manhole or be run over by a vehicle.

6. Wearing outrageous outfits
- Neon pink was so 20 years ago but some still managed to find such clothing and wear them. Where they found such pieces is a mystery. Looking at said strangers warns me of fashion no-no's.

5 - 4. Wearing great outfits
- Great outfits to wear doesn't have to be the latest trend. You'll know when you see these strangers. They are comfortable and know what they are wearing. They have confidence.

3. Loveeers
- Yes. Read it with long eeee. Oh, those two sweet lovers whispering sweet nothings. Walking slowly hand in hand. Makes me want to put handcuffs in their wrists so that they will be together forevah! :D

2. Walking while texting
- Walking while talking over a mobile phone is manageable. Texting, hmmm. Like listening to your ipod while staring to an abyss is deadly. Once again, this is a skill.

1. Smiling
- because smile is infectious.

Ten Things I love about today

.. that I have a strong heart. No matter how painful things are and will be, I will persevere.

God built me with a heart of a fighter.

That alone already equates to ten things.